While Gemma had a traumatic birth for her first child and a medicalized one for her second, for her third child she wasn't going to let that happen. She learned hypnobirthing techniques, trusted her higher self, and she had the most transforming experience of her life giving birth to her baby in the comfort of her home.
"My birth story is a beautiful one. We welcomed our son in February 2022 in the comfort of our home surrounded by love. Something that only a year earlier I would not have believed possible.
This story is my third birth, my first was a very difficult birth. I attempted to give birth in a birth center, however I was transferred to the hospital for a vacuum delivery. I truly believe this was due to lack of my partner and midwife support, and a push for intervention. This birth was very traumatizing, yet drug-free. I ended up with a damaged vagina, an episiotomy and I had a lot of fear.
My second birth was very medicalized, I was induced 2 weeks early due to severe pubis synthesis diathesis. I was in a wheelchair at the end of my pregnancy. I was given morphine before my labor started to help with the pain. My husband left me to labor in the hospital alone with extremely unsupportive midwives, and I was in no way feeling empowered.
This life experience led me to truly believe birth was a horrific experience that happens “to” women rather than for them. I ended up with an epidural, and a doctor who openly asked “Is her vagina supposed to look like this?” That stuck with me.
Fast-forward 11 years later I had a surprise pregnancy, and I was absolutely terrified about the experience that awaited me. However, this time I had some major factors on my side; I had left the abusive relationship I was in for my first two babies and had grown exponentially in my own power and wisdom. I now have a gorgeous supportive partner who truly loves me. Rather than allowing myself to just trust a medical system that disempowered me twice, I turned inward and trusted myself. I looked for the inner knowing, the sacred meaning of being a woman, a portal of life.
" Rather than allowing myself to just trust a medical system that disempowered me twice, I turned inward and trusted myself."
Knowing I was designed to give birth I studied hypnobirthing, practiced daily meditations and repeated affirmations of the beautiful birth I envisioned for us. All the while my partner was supporting me. It was hard for him as it was his first baby, but he saw how much I trusted myself, so he leaned into that too. Breaking free from the shackles of society’s need to control birth. At first, I felt like a fraud, like I was lying to myself. However, I pushed past that and gained momentum. I connected so deeply that I knew I would be able to do this. I was terrified of the hospital and their poking and prodding, their deadlines, their assumptions, and their control. I wouldn't let that happen this time. As we passed my guess date, the midwives wanted me to attend the hospital for monitoring as per protocol, that’s when I had to truly surrender. Lean into my fear, hug the 22-year-old version of myself trapped in fear and let go.
Only then, my second son began his descent. My body had been preparing for labor for over 4 weeks, it was the end of summer, I was not sleeping and was very exhausted. Then there was the moment of truth, I had a bloody show, it was finally happening! After that, my water slowly started leaking, I kept calm and moved about my day. Labor began very gently, I walked and rocked through my surges, about two hours later, I was sure it wasn’t a warm-
up, but more like what I had been waiting and longing for. I rocked through another hour before I asked my partner to call the midwives. My surges were now a minute long and four minutes apart. My midwives arrived within an hour. I had been laboring in the shower while waiting for them to arrive, my partner was filling out the birth pool and bouncing around excitedly, and my now 13-year-old daughter was just as excited as we were to share our experience.
I sounded like I was orgasming during the surges, I moaned very deeply through them. I refused all vaginal exams, knowing that my body was working perfectly. I was kept my jaw soft and envisioned the opening of my cervix like a flower. I eagerly hopped into our birthing pool, and it was such a relief. The midwives spoke to me between my surges for updates, but left me be as we progressed. As my son moved down my birth canal my moans changed. My body was gently pushing him down and out alongside my surges. All the while my daughter was holding my hands, my partner was holding mine. I was in a trance, so deep in my meditation practice, it felt like I was riding the cosmos. My baby very gently stretched my vagina, moved down and retracted, exactly as he needed to. Beforehand, I clarified that there should be no coaching with pushing, my body knows exactly what to do. I could feel him ready, it was time to push, time for him to enter the world. Because I was in the flow of my body, with my first push only half of his head came out, to about his ears. I paused, and I was very grateful for the rest. As the surge ramped up again, I flowed, pushed, and his whole head came out. Again I rested, and with one final push I expelled him from my body. The relief was phenomenal. My midwife picked him up and put him in my arms. He had a full head of hair and was covered in vernix, he was perfect, and an hour later I birthed the placenta naturally.
" I was in a trance, so deep in my meditation practice, it felt like I was riding the cosmos."
I actually did it! I had achieved what I once believed was impossible without any medication or intervention, it was just me, my mind, my body and my baby. I only used homeopathy, movement, meditation and water. My team was incredible, my partner was fanning me as I was overheating, and my daughter was cooling me down with cold coconut water and cool flannels. All up labor would not have lasted more than 5 hours, but active labor maybe 3 hours. I had no tears, just a graze, considering my first two births needed an hour and a half of stitching I was in disbelief. They wanted to transfer us to the hospital due to meconium, however I refused. We had to watch him closely if there was a problem, but there wasn’t, it was so perfect. We stayed at home and bonded with no unnatural or unnecessary interruptions. It was without a doubt the most magical experience of my life.
"It was without a doubt the most magical experience of my life."
Now my daughter is adamant when she has a baby she will give birth at home, and I’m so grateful she was there to experience this with us because it was such a gift. It was not how she envisioned birth because society does not paint it that way at all. I absolutely recommend every woman to do her best and connect with her higher self, she will guide you to have the most transformative experience of your life. I can’t even say how grateful I am for this experience, my baby was conceived, cared for and birthed with love. My wish is that every mum and bub has this opportunity because it’s pure magic. "